Wolf Sirens: Forbidden: Discover The Legend Read online

  “You’re not frightened are you, by all this?” He frowned back.

  “No,” I answered, “but there’s a million things I want to know.” My eyes searched his amber irises, which up close displayed the deep crevasses and patterns of the surface of Jupiter.

  “And then some,” he added, a broad smile spreading across his face and disappearing behind a serious expression. “Sky picked up on it. He’s got my back… we stick together and she has agreed not to exercise her gift with us,” he said, seemingly brushing it off, looking away.

  “Do you trust her, Reid?” I asked still concerned, despite his efforts to reassure me.

  He looked down. “Short answer - no. Sky said he would only get back with her, if she agreed never to do it.”

  “And she did?” I imagined Sky bargaining with her. I knew it wouldn’t have been that simple. Reid had a way of washing over details.

  “No, she blatantly tried it on you, at lunch.”

  In a second I remembered the moment clearly, he didn’t need to elaborate. The first day they had approached me in the canteen was vivid in my mind. “– And Sky called her away?”

  “Yeah, but he didn’t break it off with her until after the river she wa-.” He stopped.

  The pause was obvious “Have I asked too much?” I offered.

  “No, you have a right to know, I guess.” He seemed to be thinking. “But we have to be careful, you’re still new to the pack.” He stopped then, but I felt he wasn’t finished. I wondered how persuasive Sam could be, if she was the reason he didn’t speak of certain things, if he had been editing. I couldn’t tell. He pulled a shirt over his arms. Maybe he was in the dark too. Neither did he talk about the animals he killed with his bare teeth; out in the woods, I knew he was ashamed. But he needn’t have been.

  I thought aloud.“Reid. Am I supposed to become one of you?” I whispered. This had come out before I had considered the implications of his answer. We had talked about this before. But now it was more serious. I knew more now and I hoped this was because they would turn me.

  I waited for his reply with bated breath. The answer came as a question.

  “Do you want to?” he asked. He sounded genuinely curious. He was open, readable again now.

  I was surprised that he even had to ask. “Yes,” I breathed, honestly, without adding more.

  “Huh!” He laughed once. “Just like that?” He spoke as if to himself, buttoning his shirt up.

  “I know it’s not that easy.” I didn’t want him to think I was naive. But I would never have spoken my real thoughts, which whispered from the recesses of my mind.They were buried, but no matter how much I covered them, I still felt the muffled thoughts. Reid threw his jacket on – this was purely for looks, he did not need its warmth.

  The thought of becoming a werewolf appealed to me, not for Reid or the eternal life, or anything

  - but the possibility that then I would be beautiful enough for Sky. I guess so maybe, one day, I could be his. Every day I spent with Reid made this thought seem more ruthless, but I didn’t believe I would ever have Sky, no matter what body I was in. I wanted to make the pain go away. It didn’t make sense even to me, and it wasn’t a choice to need him. I would have done anything to be near him, in his world for eternity, despite Reid, Sam, despite logic and despite myself. I wanted him so desperately, though I knew the implications of such a desire. I was embarrassed for myself, but the feelings wouldn’t subside. I wondered if Sam’s talent could bring things you wanted to keep hidden, to the surface. Like the fact that I had a dangerously obvious crush on her boyfriend. I feared talking in my sleep and made a deliberate effort not to be alone with her. Cresida couldn’t protect me from revealing secrets or brain washing

  – for that I was on my own.

  Reid rubbed his warm hands over my shoulders and ran his arms around me in an embrace. I snuggled into his heat, sheltered in the coat.

  “Are you going?” I asked into his chest.

  “Yeah,” he breathed.

  “Don’t phase until you’re past next-door,” I warned pulling away.

  He laughed a deep chuckle. “Ben Flinds has been a bad shot his whole life.”

  “He might improve.”Or get lucky, I thought.

  Reid smirked. “Yeah, maybe, when he’s not pissed.”

  I smiled. “Just watch his gun, I think he is making a sport of it, watching for targets.”

  “Even if I walked past him with a sign on my ass in broad daylight he would miss.”

  “What if he wasn’t drunk?” I glared.

  “He’d still miss!”

  I looked at him sternly.

  His smile faded.

  “It wouldn’t kill me you know?” he said.

  “But you’d be hurt.” I squinted.

  “Yeah, it depends.”

  “On what?”

  “Where we get hurt.”

  “Where’s that?” I pressed, undeterred.

  “So many questions, Lila.” He moved uncomfortably. I felt puzzled by his sudden evasiveness.

  “I can’t tell you my weakness.”His soft eyes steadied on my face.

  “Why?”

  “Because.” He stalled.

  “Because of Sam?” I pried.

  “No, I’ll see you later, okay?”Reid kissed my cheek and went to the window. Sliding it up, he stopped in the frame. “It won’t happen to me…what happened to Lily,” he said.

  He went to jump when I urgently asked. “Reid? Do you miss her?”

  He paused and his expression changed for a moment. His face was as serious as I had seen it. He breathed deep. “Most of us don’t like to be alone… Lily always did. Sometimes I just think she’s at the beach house.” His hand brushed and then gently tapped the window frame.

  I looked down. “I’m sorry I-”

  “– I’m not going to phase ‘til I’m in the woods,” he assured me with his head cocked to the side.

  I did my best to smile back, through gleaming wet eyes.

  “Plus, if I ruin this jacket I’m dead,” he winked. He left with a steady glance as he jumped from my second story window, into the dark. They hid clothes all over the forest, just in case. When he was out of range he would undress and place the clothes in a hidden stash – a buried garbage bin covered with leaves – and then phase into a beast. I wondered if Lily’s clothes were still in there with the others’. He had told me about it, but he wouldn’t tell me some secrets.

  Alone in my room I was free to indulge my thoughts, I allowed myself the moment to dream of Sky, to take my mind off Lily. And my eyes were wet from the thoughts and I hated that they were more for me, than for her.

  16. The Devil Inside

  As planned, I met Reid at the corner near my house. He was letting the beast inside him out for a run in the trees before we went to Sam’s together. It was Saturday and the weather was calm and still. He was still breathing heavily from the run when he embraced me.

  He let me drive the blue jeep, even though he knew I didn’t have a license. He was generous to a fault.

  I was annoyed he hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me everything, but after some perspective, I thought I could understand why. So I didn’t pry. I knew I would have to earn their trust and they had already put a lot of faith in me, with so many secrets.

  The fact that Lily had turned him intrigued me; it seemed maybe she felt more strongly for him than he had felt for her. I was so sorry she had died over her jealousy, because I knew it was unnecessary, but that was something I dare not say, and the guilt burnt.

  At the Cabin everyone was in high spirits, except of course for Sky; I thought if Lily were still there, she would have been on his side. These days he was keeping a low profile also. Sky glared at me, arms crossed. I felt uncomfortable, but I wanted him to phase for me, to do anything but just glare, which tore me to pieces, regardless. Giny didn’t seem to notice. She was reading a magazine on the floor. “Let’s take this test,” she suggested enthusiastically. I
didn’t reply, but she started reading aloud anyway.

  “What personality type are you? Sanguine, Melancholic or–” She was reading a new issue of a teen magazine.

  I interrupted, “– Does Sam ever influence you?” “What? Like peer pressure?” She looked up. “No, I mean more than that,” I hinted.

  She shook her head. “Mmm, no.” She blinked

  and then began again.“Here’s the first question. Do you… A – Prefer to be alone after a party in which your guests made a mess? B – Feel lonely? C – Phone a friend and tell them all about it? or D… Oh, I need a pen.” She jumped up to get one from the kitchen phone desk.

  I watched Sky through the window. I retracted my glance when Giny hopped back. She didn’t seem to recall my enquiry.

  She continued, “Where was it?” as she studied the page. “Oh, or D – Feel annoyed or E – Start organizing the clean up?” She marked her answer and looked at me.

  “Um, C? – Does Sky hate me do you think?” “No.” She looked over to where he was watering the vines in the back garden. “He’s just like that

  – standoffish.”

  She assessed at my concerned eyes and added, “Don’t worry about him – now do you regularly, never or always?” She readied her pen to mark the answer. “When confronted you…”

  In a guest room at the cabin Reid and I kissed on the bed his warm hands crept over my shirt. I pulled it back down rigidly.

  “Is something wrong?” he whispered.

  “I’m not in the mood, could we just talk…about something.” I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair.

  He looked at me.

  I added, “I just don’t think I want to, okay?” I said with an annoyed shrug.

  He looked taken aback.

  “You don’t have to, it’s just I thought we were in that kind of relationship?”

  “Forget it.” I sat up further and pulled my hair back.

  He was silent and then he asked, “Are you okay?”

  “No, yes. I just don’t want to, okay?” I felt frustrated, mostly at myself.

  “What, that’s it? Did I miss something?”

  “No, no. Reid I just wanted to talk to you about it. I mean if we can’t talk about sex, we definitely shouldn’t do it.”

  Reid leant in a little and cooed,“Hey, Lila I didn’t mean to upset you, I don’t see you as that sort of girl, if that’s what you think?”

  “I know.” I lay my head in my hands. What was I doing?

  “So, do you just not want to do it now, or forever?” He tried to cup my limp hand in his. “This is the first time you’ve brought it up.”

  “No, I don’t know. I think we just rushed into it,” I replied with a gesture, which allowed me to move my hand from his heavy fingers.

  “What changed?” He looked as though he didn’t understand.

  “I still want to, I want you. It’s just; I don’t want that to be all we ever do.” I assessed whether he was following, “You know?” I should have been saying I love your friend; your touch isn’t his….

  “I didn’t realize you felt that way,” he breathed. I could tell he was feeling rejected even blindsided, but it was better than the truth.

  “I guess I just want more…maybe we shouldn’t have sex for a bit–” I paused to think “– until I’m ready, okay?” The truth was his hot skin made me cold to his touch but I wouldn’t say it. I pressed my lips together.

  “Did someone say something …to change…?” his clear amber eyes searched mine for more.

  “No,” I retorted. I felt tired, probably from so many late nights with Reid in my room and practice draining my energy reserves. I must have looked it. “I don’t want be that girl or that couple, that’s just how I feel,” I argued.

  “Is it me?” he said wounded.

  “No, it’s very much me, I want to be with you and I don’t care what anyone else thinks - that’s not it, I just - I need some time. You’ll be patient won’t you?” I asked, looking back into his eyes bravely.

  “Okay,” he said, sounding defeated.

  “We rushed into it,” I explained feebly.

  “Is this because of Lily, because…”

  “-No, I …I just don’t want to be that couple, the one that only sleeps together.” It sounded plausible. I knew this couple, because my ex best friend from Horkum, Bec – and Jeff – came to mind. I swallowed.

  He pressed a gentle hand on my shoulder blade, as if he was afraid I that I was repelled by his touch and perhaps I shied away from it a little.

  “You aren’t anything to me that she was,” he admitted, assuming it was Lily.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I whispered, hating myself for forcing an argument, when I knew he meant it as a compliment.

  “Stop trying to punish yourself for her death.”

  He wasn’t looking at me; his hands gripped the bed edge.

  “Why don’t you? Sam does,” I said not looking at him as my shoulders tensed further.

  “No, she knows it wasn’t your fault. If she blames anyone it’s herself.”

  I was a little taken aback. I was sure this couldn’t be the case; she hadn’t spoken to me after the day Lily died.

  “That’s sweet of you to say, but I know how Sam feels.”

  “She doesn’t blame you, I know none of us blame you.”

  “Do you blame Cres?” I asked.

  He laughed under his breath and shook his head, again. I jolted with surprise. “No, not even her.” I couldn’t believe him, but he sounded so sure and so Zen. It felt feeble to argue with him about it. He knew more than me and that was frustrating.

  There was a whistle from outside our room and we both turned.

  “Time to hunt,” Reid gestured rising, he kissed the top of my head. “I’ll see you when I get back?”

  “Yeah, I’m really tired…Reid, I was just being honest about my feelings.” I spoke into his concerned gaze.

  He moved and stood in the door. “Alright, L.” He tapped the doorframe as if he was going to say something in that moment and thought better of it. He was just a seventeen-year-old boy I recalled, but I was relying on that.

  I knew I should have called him back and told him that I was not worth it. For him I had confused everything, but really the truth was I was a lying deceitful user who was too cowardly to break it off. While Reid hunted, I dreamt of his best friend. I curled into a ball in his bed at the cabin.

  That night I awoke calling his name. “Sky!” I jolted straight in bed, eyes open. For a moment I thought I’d seen him sitting on the edge of my bed. I reached for the lamp light. The brightness blinded me and, squinting, I could see the space next to me on the bed was unoccupied and the room was empty, the door ajar. I was glad Reid was not there and bit my tongue. If that happened when he was here, I’d have some explaining to do. I wondered if anyone in the house might have heard me. I pushed the terrified feeling down, knowing with horror the more I squashed my feelings the harder it was to conceal them. The house was dark and soundless, they were all out hunting still. I dressed and hurried home in Reid’s car, because at home the pack was less likely to hear my subconscious spurting out of me, calling his name into the night. I didn’t encounter anyone on my way out of the drive. Hopefully they were all still out far away in the woods. I hoped Reid was genuine when he said I could drive the car home if I needed to.

  Somewhere between 1 and 3 o’clock I crawled into my cold bed at home, my face flushed and burned. I hoped no one had heard my call, but they weren’t the only words I had spoken in Reid’s room that I needed to worry about being overheard.

  17. Infatuation

  At practice I felt as though the feelings I covered had risen like overheated milk on the stove, about to overflow the edge. I don’t know when exactly Cupid’s arrow had struck. In hindsight maybe it was when I first saw him the day I fumbled with my math’s book on the floor and he glided past in the school hall and our eyes first connected. But I didn’t know i
t until today, until I was forced to share the same space with him.

  It shouldn’t be this hard to breathe. I dreaded practice because Sky was there and at the same time I felt compelled to be there because he was, or my heart ached. Like there was an exhausting invisible pull, tugging at me. I hadn’t seen Reid since Saturday night at the cabin and this morning as usual Giny had picked me up for early practice. I knew Reid’s quietness meant he was upset. Reid was never silent.

  I wondered if Reid would break it off. On Sunday, despite my better judgment, I thought of Sky in every waking moment and not whether Reid would call. I was relieved he didn’t. I considered avoiding calisthenics and I couldn’t bear not to go. Paranoia and nerves began to unhinge me at practice; I was beginning to crack under the pressure, with the adrenaline coursing through my body. Somehow I survived it. I only glanced at Sky once and we avoided each other. I wondered if Reid had told him about me refusing his advances on Saturday and the embarrassment stung. Maybe he was as annoyed with me, as Reid seemed to be.

  The lingering negative thoughts subsided when Reid still met me after practice.

  “Can we talk?”

  Talk? I knew something was up. This was probably it, the pre-breakup chat.

  “Sure,” I replied timidly. We started down the hall I couldn’t bare the silence between us “Reid I–”

  “– No, Lila, its okay,” he interrupted, stopping to face me.

  “No - I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you got back,” I insisted.

  “Lila, its fine. I hope you don’t mind but I kind of talked to Bianca?”

  “About what?” I winced. At least he hadn’t confided in Sky.

  “Yeah, and look, I want to apologize.”

  “Reid,” I tried to stop him dragging it out.

  “– No let me. I had this really good chat with her and she kind of explained it was, you know, a chick thing, that we moved too fast.” He shrugged. “I took it personally and I know now you didn’t mean it like that.” He hugged me and I let him while I wondered if I truly did want him to break it off? He looked at me and I smiled and he smiled as he kissed me tenderly on the lips. I couldn’t believe it, in Horkum I would have been dumped. Teenage boys rarely ignored their hormones. Reid was different, and I must have meant something to him. I wished it was reciprocal. Bianca’s wise advice had saved the day, which I hadn’t counted on. She had explained it was a ‘Men are from Mars Women are from Venus’ issue, and that was for all intents and purposes true. But I knew now that I had secretly hoped he wouldn’t understand.