Lacing Shadows Page 2

  When she couldn’t sleep at home, she would play music and run on her treadmill. Her parents’ bedroom was all the way across the house, so they were never disturbed. Now, the gym was all the way in the dorm basement. She didn’t even have anywhere to cook an early breakfast to pass the time. With suitemates’ rooms on either side of hers, Asia always felt that she had to be super quiet or risk conflicts with the girls she hardly knew.

  Her suitemates seemed nice enough, but Asia had nothing in common with them. Two of the other girls were obsessed with frat boys, parties, and hooking up with as many guys as they could. Being a non-drinking athlete and a virgin, what did she know about any of those things? She could see herself getting along with the third suitemate if the girl didn’t practically live in the library, mainly to avoid the other two.

  Asia wondered, not for the first time, whether she should transfer to a school in New York City where she could commute from home. She knew it was just anxiety, restlessness, and maybe a little loneliness talking, but it sounded good in the moment.

  Under the desk, her foot tapped wildly, and her fingers drummed on the desktop. Every muscle screamed at her, Move! The sound of her foot thumping the floor reminded her of Anubis’s tail wagging with pleasure as Nati dug her fingers into his lush fur. How would it feel to have those fingers touching me that way?

  Run!

  The smarter part of Asia’s brain immediately resisted—it was too cold, too dark, too dangerous, and too stupid. But instinct told her that if she didn’t do something, she’d go insane. The buzz she had right now was worse than the time when she was five and she’d drunk all of Dad’s cappuccino.

  Asia rummaged through her dresser drawers, pulling out a pair of thermal spandex running pants, the gray sweats she’d worn yesterday, two white, long-sleeved t-shirts, a lime-green, fleece vest, thermal socks, and a white, fleece hat that she bought just for running in low-light conditions.

  Sneaking down the dorm stairs, Asia eased the front door open. As the cold morning air hit her, she thought, This is nuts.

  After one or two quick stretches, she descended off the last step. Maybe a couple of laps around the quad would be enough to expel some of the frenetic energy that had woken her.

  Instead, Asia found herself heading off campus. She started up the mountain toward the lake, but then veered toward a yet-unexplored part of town. Her mind insisted that leaving campus had nothing whatsoever to do with the feeble hope that Nati might be out with Nubi again.

  Asia had spent very little time in this part of New Paltz. In fact, she’d been here exactly once, on moving day. Her parents had wanted to drive around to see what the surrounding neighborhoods were like. This street had been almost as quiet then as it was now. The sky gradually lightened to a deep twilight.

  Most of the windows on the block were dark, but at one house, three or four from the end of the street, several brightly lit rooms shone like a beacon. Asia was still quite a distance away, but she thought she saw a silhouette in an upstairs window look out for a moment, and then disappear. It occurred to her suddenly that she was sweating.

  As she neared the front gate of the bright house, the door opened, and a figure in the doorway made a dark silhouette.

  WOOF! A growl followed.

  Asia jumped back from the fence. A soft whistle came from the house, and the growling stopped as abruptly as it had started. The silhouette approached.

  “Look, Nubi. The girl with the death wish.”

  Nubi wagged his tail and woofed.

  “Oh. Hi.” For a moment, Asia wished she were a dog and could dig her way deep into the ground, all the way to the level of hell reserved for sweaty, pre-dawn stalker chicks.

  “Hi?” Nati barked a laugh. Nubi put his front paws on the gate and stretched his nose toward Asia.

  “Lame, I know. Sorry. I didn’t know you lived here. I was just—” I was just running up and down random streets, wishing I would find you.

  “Out trying to see if you could either freeze to death or get abducted. I know. Listen, it’s cold. Why don’t you come warm up for a sec?”

  Did the twinkle in Nati’s eyes mean that she knew Asia’s real motivation? She had to get out of there. This was too mortifying. “Nah, I couldn’t. It’s so early…” Asia trailed off, realizing just how dumb she sounded. “I don’t want to disturb your family or anything.”

  Nati opened the gate and turned back toward the house. “You won’t. We’re early risers. Come on in.”

  As if she were watching a movie, Asia observed herself follow Nati and Anubis inside. How was this possibly real? It would have been nice if, during her fantasizing about running into Nati, she had gotten past the imaginary coy greeting. What was she supposed to do now? Do nothing, act normal, and try not to make a fool of herself?

  The downstairs lights were on, but the rooms appeared to be empty. All the sounds came from upstairs, where Nati headed, not stopping to see if Asia was behind her. She hesitated but then caught up, afraid to run into Nati’s family at this ridiculous hour.

  Nati shut her bedroom door behind them. “I’d introduce you to the fam, but no one really wants to meet a stranger with bed hair and morning breath.” She stripped off her robe and out of a pair of purple, flannel pajama bottoms.

  “I-I should go. You look busy, and I should… probably… get back too.” Distracted by the smoothness of Nati’s bare legs, Asia absently trailed a finger down the side of her own throat and across her collarbone…

  “What are you doing out so early, anyway?” Nati pulled on jeans that hugged her heart-shaped hips.

  “Wh-what?”

  Beneath her lacy camisole, Nati was braless. The camisole pulled up as Nati reached into her messy closet for a shirt. Her belly was slightly rounded. Snuggly.

  Realizing that Nati was waiting for an answer, Asia snapped back to attention. “I, uh… was out because I couldn’t sleep. Wired. Running usually takes the edge off.”

  Back in high school, Asia had avoided the locker rooms. She often struggled not to stare with increasing curiosity at all the different sizes, shapes, textures, and colors around her. If she did steal a peek, she would try to play it off, like she was comparing the other girls’ assets to her own. That was partly true. But her secret, and more compelling, impulse was much more basic. She wanted to experience the beauty around her as more than a passive observer.

  She had never been—could never be—romantically involved with another woman. Not without serious consequences.

  Nati pulled a blue plaid shirt around her shoulders, buttoned it, and tucked the front into her pants. Then she tugged a brush through her amber hair. Her skin was flawless and, although the name didn’t quite fit, Asia thought she might be Hispanic but figured it would be rude to ask.

  Once her hair was done, she faced Asia with raised eyebrows and hands on her hips. “So, you ended up here. Must be fate. You hungry?”

  Sliding her feet back into giant, purple slippers with fake claws, Nati brushed against Asia’s arm to reach around her for the doorknob. Her hair smelled of lavender and a hint of mint.

  Nati paused. “Only time I ever wake up that wired is if I’m having a really hot dream. Yours must have been smokin’.” She waggled her eyebrows with a sly grin.

  Speechless, Asia stared into her almond-shaped eyes. Her mouth went dry.

  Luckily, Nati opened the door and skipped down the stairs. Again, she offered her food and drink, but Asia declined, saying she had work to do.

  “Okay.” Nati wrote on a piece of paper, tore it in two, and handed both parts and a pen to Asia. One piece had Nati’s phone numbers on it. The other was blank.

  “Give me your number. We can hang out at a more decent hour.”

  “Um… Okay.”

  *

  The gray wolf wagged its tail, fuller now that the cold weather had set in. Its influence over Asia had strengthened. She had started toward the mountain as it had commanded, but something distracted her. When the wolf
saw her talking with the female interloper, it growled. The time quickly approached for Asia to perform the ritual that would release her wolf spirit.

  The gray wolf’s own journey had been less spirit quest and more torture. Memories of forced starvation, beatings, sleep deprivation—all meant to “toughen up” the gray wolf’s human counterpart—haunted its dreams each night. There were other ways of completing the rite, but the pack had not allowed the gray wolf to attempt them. They said the human counterpart was too weak to merit the honor of completing the quest by embracing the physical body and the senses.

  That was a false assumption. The human counterpart would have prevailed. The pack had been faithless, threatened by the human counterpart’s ideas and ambitions. But they could not stop the gray wolf from evolving. No one could.

  The gray wolf understood that benevolence could be more productive than wanton violence. It would use the methods that had been inflicted upon its human counterpart only if Asia resisted. She could not be allowed to deny the wolf. After all, wolves of the line of Cain took what they desired, what they needed. Cain wolves were not meant to be gentle creatures. If only the gray wolf’s human counterpart had learned those lessons before its time had run out.

  3.

  Although Jesse had behaved himself since their picnic, when Asia mentioned she would be spending the coming Sunday with Nati, he sulked.

  “Jesse, you can’t control every free minute I have, and I’m not going to organize my whole schedule around yours.”

  Silence answered her on the other end of the line. Still grouchy, he eventually gave in. “Will I at least see you afterwards?”

  “I’m not sure what we’re doing exactly, but if I’m back early enough, you can come over.”

  Her mom had always warned her not to be a “cling-on,” but had never told her what to do with a guy who was too demanding. Jesse would just have to get over himself, especially since they still saw each other every weekday, at least twice most days. A few hours apart wouldn’t kill either of them.

  Through a series of phone calls the previous week, Asia and her new bestie discovered a great deal in common: world beat indie artists, urban fantasy literature, classic and international horror flicks, and ancient history series and documentaries.

  On Sunday morning, they met at the bus station. The bus would be less stressful than driving into Manhattan. The Metropolitan Museum of Art had an ongoing exhibit on Ancient Egypt, but this month, it also hosted a series of lectures on Ancient Egyptian shamanism.

  Asia shifted in her window seat to face Nati. “So what do I owe you for the tickets? How did you even score them? From the website, it looked like this thing is kind of exclusive.”

  “My Jiddo, granddad, is a patron of the museum. You don’t owe me anything. They were free. A gift from him.”

  “Wow—I’ll have to meet him to thank him. I mean, if you ever wanted me to meet him.” She paused to organize her next words in the least offensive way possible. “What language is Jiddo? I thought you were Hispanic, but I know the Spanish word for grandfather, and that’s not it.”

  “It’s Arabic. I was born in Egypt, but Jiddo brought my twin brother and me here when we were barely walking. A lot of people assume we’re Mexican, but I guess that’s better than being treated like we’re terrorists or something. We went to Disney a couple years ago for graduation, and after the airport experience, my brother says he’s never flying again.”

  What could Asia say to that? She also noted that Nati hadn’t mentioned parents, and she thought it was probably best not to ask. She nodded as she searched for a safer topic. “Um… what are you studying? I’m doing liberal arts right now. No idea what I want to do with my life yet.”

  “Anthropology. Probably no real money in it, but Jiddo always tells me to do what I love and let him worry about the rest. Asim and I live at home because we don’t want to be away from him for too long. He’s getting up there, you know?”

  “It’s cool that he’s so supportive. My parents are, too—kind of—as long as I’m doing something they approve of.”

  “And what happens if you do something they disagree with?”

  Asia found herself staring into Nati’s hypnotic eyes, which seemed to be trying to deliver some unspoken message. “Let’s just say I don’t tell them everything.”

  “Ooh, secrets. Well, if you ever need to unload, I’m excellent at keeping them. And I have a few of my own, so I don’t judge.”

  A mischievous glint in Nati’s eyes captivated Asia and promised acceptance and a deeper connection than she had allowed herself to form with anyone. She found herself drawn in and was reluctant to resist.

  As the bus rolled through Westchester, Nati said she wanted to grab a quick nap. She pulled her brown fedora down over her eyes, folded up her leopard-print silk scarf as a pillow, and leaned her head back. Asia picked at the hem of her heather-and-gray fisherman’s sweater as she watched the cars and landscape, wondering—worrying—about the warm feeling that spread through her chest and belly when Nati flashed her lopsided smile.

  Nati had certainly not given any outward indication of being interested in anything other than hanging out together. Asia thought she sensed something intangible beneath Nati’s surface that might claim her as more than just a buddy. Wishful thinking? She pushed the ideas away and warned herself to stop being weird before her new friend sensed it and ran away screaming.

  When they reached the museum, they had over an hour to kill before the lecture started. They strolled through the Egyptian exhibit. A head shorter than Asia, Nati was an animated companion. Light touches and little bumps accompanied her laughter. Each careless contact sent little sparks through Asia, almost to the point of distraction, until she also found herself relaxing, smiling, and laughing too loudly. She covered her mouth to stifle the noise.

  Nati stopped in front of a statue of Anubis, the jackal-headed Egyptian god. She explained how he weighed the hearts of the dead against a feather to determine their righteousness before they went to the afterlife. She murmured a few words, bowed her head, and then pointed toward the lecture hall. “Let’s go get some seats.”

  After the talk, Asia’s head swam. She had no idea how complex Ancient Egyptian worship was. As they passed a series of hieroglyphs on their way out of the museum, she paused. “Anubis. You named your dog after one of the gods?”

  For the first time, Nati dropped her head, and her cheeks turned a dusky shade. “Yeah. Besides the weighing of the hearts, Anubis is protector of the dead. I always hope that he’s watching over my parents. You hungry?”

  They found a small, Arabic restaurant where Asia sampled falafel, tabbouleh, and fattoush. She had never laughed so hard. Every now and then, she and Nati would lock eyes, and her insides would do a little wriggle before the moment passed.

  When they boarded the Greyhound, the driver had the AC pumping. The shadows stretched as the sun sank in the sky. If they didn’t hit traffic, they’d be back in New Paltz before dinner.

  During the return trip upstate, as Nati elaborated on different cults of Anubis, Asia’s phone buzzed in her purse. She pulled it out and inspected the screen. A tiny symbol in the top right corner signaled that she had messages. She rejected the current call.

  “Whoops.”

  “Everything okay?” Nati’s gaze became serious in an instant.

  “Yeah. Just Jesse.”

  “Why didn’t you answer? I won’t think you’re rude.” The corner of her mouth lifted in her crooked smile.

  “Thanks. I don’t know why I didn’t answer. I just wanted a day to myself for a change. It’s only been a few hours. What could he possibly want?”

  “Emergency? You sure you don’t want to check?”

  Nati’s consideration shamed Asia. Something could have happened; Jesse could have gotten bad news or been hurt. If he needed her, she should support him in any way she could.

  “Maybe I’ll listen to the messages, make sure everything’s all rig
ht.” He had just left a new one. When Asia dialed into her voicemail, she discovered he had called five times. The tone of each message became increasingly agitated. There was no mention of any problem. He just wanted to know when she would be back and if he could see her.

  With a huff, Asia jammed the phone back into her purse. “When he gets like that, I don’t even want to see him.” She was talking more to her reflection in the window than to Nati.

  Behind her, Nati’s image was grinning. “C’mon, girl. You’re so hot, how can you blame the guy for wanting to be all up on this 24/7?”

  Asia laughed. Despite being annoyed at Jesse, Nati calling her hot greatly improved her mood.

  *

  When Jesse entered her room, he was frowning. A loose, gray t-shirt with an abstract logo of his design hung over black warm-up pants. A baseball cap was turned to the back on his head, and Asia knew it carried the same logo. He carried his battered MacBook in one arm and a pizza box in the other. Even through her irritation at his behavior, she appreciated the way, under his shirt, his broad shoulders tapered to a narrow waist accented by rippling abs.

  “What’s all this?” She forced her tone to remain light against his scowl.

  “Figured we could watch a movie, and I thought you might be hungry.”

  “Thanks. That was sweet.” When Asia hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, he stiffly returned the gestures. She tried a different tack. “So… what’d you do today?”

  “You mean when I wasn’t calling or texting you?” He glared for a long moment, and then his expression softened. “I was plotting the next move in my bid for world domination. It involves werewolves. And as research…” Jesse pulled a thumb drive from his pocket and set the laptop up on top of her textbooks. “I brought a classic.”

  He grinned, and the air between them defrosted.

  “Nice!” She smiled as the opening credits to An American Werewolf in London played through. This was the side of Jesse she liked—not too intense or demanding, thoughtful. If she could have this Jesse all the time, like he had been in the beginning, she might have trusted him more.