Lacing Shadows Read online

  Until recently, she had never given him any cause to worry about her attention wandering, so his constant presence became more smothering than flattering. Even now, as attracted as she was to Nati, Asia wouldn’t cheat on him. All things being equal, a relationship with him was the most socially acceptable and least complicated. If she had to choose between them, Jesse would win. Probably.

  They ate as they watched the movie. The brief love scene between David and Nurse Alex left her wound up, feeling as if she needed to shed her skin.

  “Why so fidgety?” He glanced sidelong at her. A knowing smile stretched his lips. “Feeling tense?” Had he chosen this movie, knowing the effect it would have on her? He kissed up the edge of her jaw, toward her ear, and nibbled at the lobe.

  She dropped her voice an octave and trailed a finger up his side. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  He brought his mouth to hers. Asia gave in, and for long, languid moments, they forgot about the movie.

  “Just saying—” His hand caressed down her outer thigh, to her knee. His fingers lightly traced up her inner thigh. “I can help you relax.”

  Asia grabbed his wrist. “Jesse.” His name came out sharper than she’d intended.

  With a groan, he backed off.

  Jesse left right after the movie, so by eleven, Asia was on her own with nothing to do but ponder how she should handle him. He definitely knew what buttons to push to have her body screaming for him, but in the back of her mind, it seemed like she could have that reaction to anyone with the right skills. She wanted more than just a physical hookup. Although she liked a lot about Jesse, and he was sexy as hell, she didn’t love him. Did that matter? Maybe she was being immature and naïve.

  Asia often overheard her suitemates talking about hooking up with this guy or getting wasted at that party. Was she the only virgin on the campus? Not likely, but it felt like she must be. She had dated guys in high school, but no one she had felt a serious connection to. No way would she have given up her virginity to any of them.

  There was a period, during the past two years, when she concluded she must be gay. Throughout that time, she avoided everyone. Her parents, concerned over her self-imposed isolation, thought she was using drugs. If only she could have told them the real issue.

  Tonight, although her body was exhausted, her mind wouldn’t settle. She finally went downstairs for some chamomile tea and then went to bed. Her dreams that night were confusing.

  She was wearing a blue plaid shirt and jeans, lying on her bed. At the same time, she hovered over herself, kissing along her collarbone and unbuttoning the shirt. Heat incinerated every pore, and when she looked into her eyes, they glowed gold. Everything faded to black.

  Hands massaged the muscles of her neck, her shoulders, working down along her spine. When they reached the small of her back, they paused. Fingers fanned out and upward, caressing her skin again. She stretched, still enflamed with desire for her unknown partner. Asia rolled and looked up into those stunning eyes.

  In her half-awake state, Asia realized the eyes were real, no longer part of the dream. Then suddenly, they disappeared. A chill swept over her.

  The covers were heaped at the side of the bed in chaos. It was just after two. A fluttering movement caught her attention. The curtains danced in the night breeze. She got out of bed, rubbed her arms briskly, and checked the window. It was cracked open. Pulling it closed, she tried to remember when she would have opened it. Why would she do that when it was so cold?

  Maybe her mom had done it to air out the room, her sleep-fogged mind tried to tell her. Waking fully, she reminded herself that her mom wasn’t here. If Asia called home just to chat, she’d give her mother a heart attack. And what could she say?

  Hey, Mom. Sorry to wake you. Really horny, can’t sleep, boyfriend’s trying to have sex with me, and I want to, but I’m not ready yet. Oh, and I might be falling for a girl I met. Goodnight!

  Ha! If she even hinted to her parents that she might be gay or bisexual, they’d have her in therapy, at church, and probably on medication in a heartbeat. Of course, they would mean well, but they couldn’t possibly understand her conflict. Her mom’s strict Caribbean upbringing made her frown on same-sex relationships, and her Irish-Catholic father would be destroyed by his little girl having sex with anyone, no matter their gender.

  Asia would have to figure things out for herself. She crawled back into bed, slipping back into a restless doze.

  *

  “Where were you, Nati?” Asim stood at the doorway of her room in a tank and New York Giants boxers.

  She reclined against a stack of pillows between her and the wood pallet headboard Asim had made her as a side project. He was finishing a carpentry program before declaring an environmental engineering major. The stained pallets created a whole shelving system around the head of the bed.

  Next to Nati, amid the royal-blue geometric designs of her fluffy comforter, a box of charcoal pencils spilled open.

  “Assuming I wasn’t here, how is that any of your business?”

  “C’mon. I know you weren’t here. And it’s my business because as your big brother—”

  “Please! Five minutes hardly qualifies you as my warden!” She laughed at him.

  “Still. I have to look out for you. You went there again, didn’t you?”

  She brought her gaze back to the sketchpad in her lap. The drawing was of a woman with wild curls that whipped around her head as if she were in a windstorm.

  “What if I did?"

  He entered the room, shut the door behind him, and sat at the foot of the queen-sized bed. Nati had to adjust her pad when the mattress dipped down from his weight. His gaze weighed on her like the proverbial pink elephant.

  “What if you had been caught?” He spoke quietly.

  There was no way she was going to tell him that Asia had stirred and seen her. “I wasn’t. Anyway, our secret is safe… You think she’s cute.”

  “She’s more than cute, she’s freakin’ hot. Obviously, I’m not the only one who thinks so—” Asim grabbed the picture from Nati’s hands and held it out of her reach. “Wow. You’ve really captured her… Is her ass really that big? I’ll have to look closer next time.” He gave the pad back.

  “Jerk.” She continued shading and blending tones.

  “Look, you heard what Jiddo said last night. He wants her for the pack eventually. You can’t mess this up, sis.”

  “I’m not messing anything up.”

  “Did she talk to you about him? The boyfriend?” The teasing tone was gone from Asim’s voice now, replaced with sympathy.

  “A little. I think she was kind of annoyed with him.”

  “Must have been fun.” He paused. “I mean, that can’t be easy for you.”

  Nati shook her head and stared at the edge of the pillow she’d started fiddling with. She hated when their conversations took this direction. “I’m sorry.”

  He waved her words away. “What are you sorry about? You can’t help… who you are. It just sucks that we have the same taste in girls.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, you’d probably have the advantage if you wanted it…” She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to get rid of any moisture at the corners of her eyes before Asim noticed.

  He moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, tucking her head under his chin. She hugged him back.

  “It doesn’t make me feel better. You’re my sister. I’m supposed to kick anyone’s ass who makes you feel bad. But I can’t beat up on a girl.”

  *

  The wolf had observed the interloper from a rooftop. She snuck out through a window like the thief she was. On the first-floor ledge, she glanced around and back into the room for a moment. After leaping to the grass below, she moved behind a shrub.

  Beams of light spilled from her eyes. A breeze lifted her hair into a halo around her head and rustled the branches of the shrub that shielded her from anyone at ground level. Slowly, the woman
raised her arms out to her sides. Glowing light dripped down over her head and body, and the image of a wolf’s head shimmered into being above her. The human body obscured by the light disappeared and was replaced by the wolf’s full form. She bounded away into the darkness.

  The gray wolf howled.

  4.

  The following weekend, Asia stopped at the bottom of the stairs at Nati’s house. A motionless figure was wrapped in a blanket and slumped in a recliner. It reminded her of a mummy, and she jumped back when the figure snorted a snore.

  “N-Nati?”

  Her friend was already on the landing. “You coming or what?”

  “Uh… There’s—”

  The figure’s eyes opened, and he shifted, coughing. He spoke in a wheezy voice. “Hello there, young lady.” He had a trace of an accent that sounded almost British.

  “Sorry, Jiddo.” Nati appeared behind Asia. She squeezed by, sending a shiver through Asia, and bent over the old man to kiss him on the cheek. “Come here, Asia. Meet my grandfather.”

  The closer Asia looked at the man, the more she realized he had been there the first morning she came into the house. At the time, he had been so still that she hadn’t registered his presence.

  A floorboard creaked as she crossed the room. The faint odors of old smoke and fresh tiger balm lurked beneath lingering breakfast aromas. The slight, ancient man sat up tall with a grin that revealed many missing teeth. Asia wondered if he actually saw her.

  “Jiddo, this is my friend, Asia.”

  He nodded stiffly. “Yes. Give me your hand, child.”

  Skeletal fingers reached toward Asia. Reluctantly, she closed the gap between his hand and hers. His grip was unexpectedly strong, the palm warm and soft except for a few calluses.

  “There is much conflict around you. Too much for such a young woman.”

  Asia didn’t quite understand what he meant. Her hand began to feel too warm.

  “The spirit of the wolf is strong in you. You will know him soon.”

  “Umm…” Asia hesitated and squirmed. Nati’s grandfather might be senile, yet her pulse revved.

  “The father of all canines. Wolf—he is in you. Watching you. Waiting. Soon, you will see. And then, you will choose. Do not fear your own spirit.”

  Asia shivered. As much as she wanted to be polite, she tried to tug her hand out of his. “Umm… thanks?”

  He squeezed her fingers, and then released her.

  After the strange encounter, Asia noticed that Nati seemed quieter than usual. Not wanting to offend her, she changed the subject as they went upstairs.

  “So… what did you want to do today?”

  “I don’t know. I guess Nubi could stand to run around up by the lake. I can drive.”

  “Sure. Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

  “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s go.”

  *

  Jiddo’s pronouncement to Asia confused Nati. What was he up to? When they had recruited their other five pack members, some of whom were also Chinook students, it had been a much more subtle process that happened over a longer period. But he was impatient when it came to Asia, and Nati wished she knew what it meant.

  At the lake, Anubis romped as the two women chatted.

  “…I tried not to listen, but they were out of control and I couldn’t not hear it. First, Gigi was arguing with the guy, and then I think she must have hit him. Next thing I know, Brianna got involved. It was a mess. I probably should have gone out to see what was up. I did call security. They just took their sweet time showing up.”

  “Why didn’t you? Go out, I mean. Did you think she was exaggerating or something?”

  “Nah, that wasn’t it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did take advantage of her being drunk, because she’s always drunk. I believe she was telling the truth. That doesn’t make it okay for him to screw her while she was half passed out. I guess I stayed out of it because the drama wasn’t going to solve anything. She should have just gone to security or called the police. How’d she think she was going to fight a guy three times her size?”

  “Size isn’t everything.”

  “From what she said, it wasn’t anything in his case.” Asia glanced at Nati, and they both snorted out laughs.

  A crunch of leaves came from over a rise. That wasn’t too surprising—plenty of hikers were out today. Anubis immediately returned to Nati’s side and faced the direction of the sound, hackles raised and teeth bared. He growled a threat.

  “What is it, Nubi?” Nati placed a hand between his shoulders.

  Nubi’s head dipped down between his shoulders, his body tensed, and he rocked his weight between his back paws as if he were about to bolt.

  And then he did.

  He leaped through the air as if he’d been standing on a springboard. His feet were running almost before they even touched the ground. Nati and Asia rushed after him. There was a bark, a crash, and a yelp.

  “Oh no!” Asia picked up speed. “Jesse! What the hell are you doing here? Nati, call Nubi off. Please!”

  Anubis pinned Jesse, who cowered behind upraised arms, blubbering and cursing. The dog wouldn’t do anything further, at least without a command. Still, his snarls seemed to frighten Jesse. Nati, however, had no sympathy for him.

  Coming to a skid as she reached them, Asia nearly slid onto her butt. Nati caught her, relishing the feel of her friend’s long, lean form in her arms for a moment. Nubi backed off Jesse, eyes never leaving the intruder.

  “Jesse, did you… did you… follow me?” Asia’s voice began low and rose to a roar.

  Jesse’s face morphed from red and embarrassed to impassive, as if he’d slipped on a Halloween mask. “No. No, I didn’t. No, of course not. I was just looking for you since today’s meet got cancelled.”

  Asia’s voice calmed and she watched him, her head tilted to one side. “Yeah? Why was it cancelled?”

  Jesse froze. “Uh… I don’t know. Coach didn’t say. I just thought I’d come here to surprise you. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

  “Liar. You’re lying, Jesse! Meets only get cancelled for thunderstorms! I’m a freshman, not an idiot. What is wrong with you? Where do you get off spying on me?”

  “Asia, don’t be rid—”

  “Really? I’m ridiculous? You’re spying on me and lying about it! I’m done, Jesse.”

  Asia started to turn when Jesse hooked her elbow.

  Nati glared and stepped forward. “Hey, ease up there, Jess.” Anubis rumbled in his chest again.

  Jesse glanced at the golden dog and softened his tone. “Can we not do this here? Can’t we talk about this in private?”

  Asia jerked her arm away. “Are you kidding me? Don’t talk to me about privacy when you just violated mine. I’ve had it with you trying to run my life. We’re finished. Don’t call me. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

  Nati’s eyes went wide. Who would have thought that Asia, usually so quiet and polite, had it in her. Jiddo had seen it.

  “Nati, will you take me back to campus? I need to go.”

  Putting an arm protectively around Asia’s shoulders, Nati steered her toward the parking lot.

  “You don’t want to do that, Asia.”

  Both ladies stopped and turned in slow motion. It wasn’t what Jesse said; it was the gravelly, seething quality of his voice. The muscles, tendons, and veins around his neck and face all bulged, like he might erupt at any second. His hands worked, clenching and opening.

  “Don’t you walk away from me, or I’ll make you sorry.”

  Nati felt Asia stop breathing.

  Jesse stepped toward them, but that was as far as he got. From behind him, Anubis woofed two deep, furious barks. Jesse stopped, curled his upper lip, and turned to face the canine. The air over Nubi’s body shimmered. He glowed gold, blinding, as his wolf spirit retreated.

  Within seconds, Asim stood before them, fully clothed and pissed off as a hornet. “Yo! Get away from her!”

  “Asim?” Asia
stared him, arms dangling limply at her sides, her lips parted, but no words escaping.

  Jesse snarled and attacked. He had a couple of inches on Asim, but otherwise, they had similar builds. Still, Nati knew her brother was no brawler. When Jesse barreled into Asim’s torso, he collapsed like a coupe getting slammed by a Hummer. The force of the blow knocked them back ten feet or more.

  Jesse straddled his chest. Asim tried to block the rain of blows Jesse relentlessly dealt. But Jesse spotted and exploited every vulnerability. In a matter of moments, Asim was groaning as blood gushed over his face.

  “No! Asim!” Nati couldn’t watch any longer. She raced to his defense and launched herself onto Jesse’s back. Her fingers clawed at his cheeks, digging into his eyes and nose, trying to dislodge her brother’s attacker. “Asia, help me!”

  She didn’t move.

  Jesse reached back with one hand and clutched Nati’s throat. She could feel the cartilage compressing, choking off her air supply. Where his fingers met her skin, the blood pumping through her arteries pulsed. It was too late to scream. Releasing his head, she wrestled to free herself. Her ears began to ring. The world around her distorted.

  “Damn it, Jesse! Stop! What’s wrong with—?”

  Asia moved as if in slow motion. She grabbed at Jesse’s arm. With a roar, he flung his arm around. Asia went flying, and then she dropped to the ground.

  Jesse froze. “No. No! Asia!”

  He dropped Nati and stumbled off Asim, looking down at Asia. Nati glanced over. One of Asia’s eyelids fluttered while she held the other side of her face. She moaned and struggled to rise. Then she collapsed.

  Jesse gripped his hair in anguished fists, his expression twisted and miserable. “I didn’t mean to! Fuck!” He roared, and then ran off.

  *

  Asia’s head was being cradled. The rest of her body sank into something soft and comforting. Her fingers moved, and she felt smooth cotton beneath them. A faint aroma of vanilla infused the air. Was this her room? Her bed?